My grandmother succumbed to liver cirrhosis. It was heartbreaking and I still miss her. Her smile, her patience of being a great listener, an amazing singer, a wonderful speaker, a stoic english instructor and a kind leader. Even if she is not physically present, she lives through every story that I write and every song that I sing in. Every talent that she has helped me horne, is a product of our teamwork and her love to help me cope with a loss that was inevitable.
I will never be able to understand what you are going through, but I can tell you this. She will never ever fade away. She will always be with you and she will live through you with whatever you take away with you. Whenever and whatever you learn from her, if you apply it anywhere to grow and give yourself a smile, remember it is because of her love for you. And, as long as you can hold on to those moments of triumph from her teachings and inspirations, she will always be there to cheer you on. This helped me and I hope it helps you too.