Avast!
Yargh, I'd be happy to piratize your text, I would, yargh!
Ahem - yes, this might just be the most fun an editor will have ever have had - if you hire me! Why not take a look over my profile and drop me a PM if interested?
Farewell me hearties ...
*
Sample
Avast, ye have been chosen to join these here ranks of the finest crew that ever did sail the seven seas. Your old salty seadog cappin' (that'll be me, yargh) has plundered many 'a vessel and brought back much booty. Yargh, the finest booty in all the land. But this old seadog be needin' your help, yargh. Join me and and gain the bounty, help me find the treasure! Yargh!