Slogan and introductory content for Online business

Need excellent and creative writer (English) for writing content for a website. The first assignment is to write the "About Us" page which explains what the company is, the mission, slogan and other key statements. More specific requirements: 1. Write a slogan 2. Introductory paragraph about the company (the what/who) 3. The mission statements (the why) 4. In total it should be 5-8 paragraphs. 5. Must be creative and have sense of humour. 6. Candidates must submit sample work similar to this which you have done in the past. 7. Content only (no need to worry about formatting, font, etc). 8. Excellent level of English required (native preferred). 9. Must give up (transfer) all copyright and IP rights. 10. Revisions will be required. The project will be awarded by the following criteria (in order of importance) 1. Creativity 2. Cost 3. Correct use of language and figures of speech (e.g. puns) 4. Professional level of English (commercial English). To be considered please submit sample work with your bid that exemplifies the 4 criteria above. Thanks.